I have an important truth to remind you of today ... YOU are already awesome in every way. It's true whether you're nailing your resolution, or not. Losing or gaining 10 pounds doesn't make it any more or less true. Neither does having more money, a different job, or a new house.
I'm reminding you of this because I think sometimes we set resolutions thinking we'll be awesome when (fill in the blank). Then if we fall a little short of our expectations, we can feel less awesome than when we started.
I know resolutions work for some people, but I’ve always found them kind of stressful - adding unnecessary pressure and expectation to my already busy life. So I was relieved when I learned and started practicing yoga's alternative - "sankalpa."
Where a resolution often arises from your ego's externally-sourced idea of who you should be, a sankalpa is “a vow or commitment” that comes from the heart's longing to express the awesomeness that's already inside of you.
From the yogic perspective, your true Self is already awesome and unchanging regardless of whether you ever fit into those college pair of jeans again.
I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with losing weight or making more money. Good health and resources are necessary to support you in fulfilling your true purpose. If I am to fulfill my purpose of building a space for community, connection, and yoga, I need to make a certain amount of money to keep the business going.
What I am suggesting is that you look at your motivations behind your resolutions and make the time to connect with where your heart is guiding you.
Your sankalpa will guide you toward fulfilling your unique purpose in service of others, and stick with you even through the inevitable obstacles you encounter.
Resolutions are easy to abandon and forget about, but because sankalpas arise from a deeper place, they have the power to pick you up when you fall and point you back in the right direction. They have staying power, and they don't come with a January 1st deadline. Here’s an example:
A RESOLUTION GUIDED BY EGO: “I’m going to lose 10 pounds,” because all of my friends are thinner than me. This shallow intent makes it way easier to abandon your good habits when met with challenges.
A SANKALPA FROM THE HEART: ”I nurture my family by nurturing myself” is an example of a sankalpa that is fueled by the deeper desire to care for others, which makes you more likely to make good choices for yourself that will probably lead toward a healthier weight and lifestyle. You’ll get into good habits naturally, and return to those good habits despite temporary setbacks.
Sankalpas are about connection and love.
Somewhere around the year 2003 (pre-yoga), I was so swept up in my resolution to lose weight that I turned down an opportunity to go out to dinner with friends and went to the gym instead. I was so centered on myself that I missed a precious opportunity to connect. I was stressed and obsessed, and I’m not proud of it.
I was so all about "me" that I lost sight of “we." And let's face it, "we" is where real joy comes from - from experiencing connection. Sankalpa is about "we". It's about your ability to serve your loved ones and the world in a way that no one else can, and should make you feel a greater sense of connection, love, and peace.
So you might ask yourself, "Is my resolution making me feel more connected and at ease? Or is it making me stressed and self-centered." If you’re experiencing stress, guilt, pressure, or anxiety around your resolution, it might be a good time to let it go and explore the practice of establishing a sankalpa instead.
How to set your Sankalpa
Sankalpas do not emerge from the intellect. They reveal themselves naturally when we make the time to turn inward and listen. So to connect with your sankalpa, setting aside time for introspection is crucial.
Sit quietly and connect with your breath. Let your mind begin to quiet. Bring your attention to your heart space, and sense that this space is opening and becoming more receptive. Trust that your true Self knows what is needed, and simply listen to what arises naturally and intuitively.
If the first thing that comes to mind seems very specific and coming from the ego, listen for the deeper longing underneath it. For example, losing weight may come from a deeper yearning to experience more self love.
In taking a bigger picture approach, the behavior changes you seek are likely to happen anyway, and you will notice even more positive changes. For example, if you choose “self-love” as your sankalpa, true self-love will lead to eating better and exercising more in support of your wellbeing.
Once you connect with the feeling of what your heart is longing for (ie, love, kindness, peace, gratitude, joy, etc.), word your sankalpa positively, in the present tense, clearly, and concisely. “I love myself as I am.”
I am kind.
I accept myself as I am.
I enjoy life fully.
I welcome health and wellness.
My true nature is joyful.
If you have difficulty connecting with the idea that you already have and are what you seek, add “more and more” to it. For example, “I love myself as I am, more and more.”
How to use your Sankalpa
Sankalpa is extremely powerful when paired with Yoga Nidra, or Yogic Sleep - the practice of deeply relaxing the body to access deeper levels of consciousness. It’s similar to the guided relaxation you may experience at the end of classes here at Kindred Yoga, but longer and deeper.
Mentally repeating your sankalpa three times at the beginning and end of a yoga nidra practice is said to plant the seed of your heartfelt resolve deep within your consciousness so that you will naturally begin to make choices aligned with this intention every day.
If you don’t know what Yoga Nidra is, you’ll get a glimpse of it in my upcoming CULTIVATE CALM series. I’ll also be offering Yoga Nidra special classes coming soon, so stay tuned.
Until then, try mentally repeating your sankalpa at the beginning and end of your final relaxation at any class. Do it regularly and see what happens :-)